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Post a review of this poem.

04.07.00
from New York
 
You are fucking amazing.....I'm so proud of you.
This one has a different mood then the other ones that I have read. You are combining the city and country in you so well. This is the first one that is not about male-female relationships. There is a deep sadness like an everlasting grey day in this poem

02.11.00
Eric Dutton (pescofish@fament.com) from Pittsburg, KS
 
Take up the razor.
The largest body of the poem seemed unfocused. The subject moves from a wharf fisherman, to Alberto and Yadira, to "you", and finally to ["me"]. You may have started with an abstract idea. If so, the poem is not focused enough on any image to covey it.
I love the specific details like the empty bucket of paint thumping, and the dog-eared malanga leaf.
Each of the subjects of this poem, treated individualy, would make a more powerfull poem by itself than they are here, especialy with the vivid treatment each is given.
The last three lines alone, with some revision, would make a very vivid, powerful poem.

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